He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
