Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
