So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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