you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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