So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
