I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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