You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
