Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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