I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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