He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
