I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
