chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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