before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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