Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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