billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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