I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
