You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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