Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
