is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
