he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
