you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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