I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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