so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.