dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class