I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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