Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
