College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
