I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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