Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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