1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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