I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
