all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
