before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Randomize
