Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
