I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I wish i was in the wii world.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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