Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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