There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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