Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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