I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I think i got beer on your cat.
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