The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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