your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
