I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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