I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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