The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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