How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
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