You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize
