no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
