I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize