Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
