I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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