I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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