just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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