my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
