that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
