Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
