im about as happy as oj after his trial
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
