Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
