doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Sorry about my life...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
