I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
