Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
