I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize