Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
