I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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