the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
