This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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